"I hope you heal through movement, music, laughter, and joy to dance again." 9/8/2022, Niam Tswv Zeej VwjYaj
Below is an excerpt of my spiritual awakening and inspirations that make the embodiments of who I am today. I hope that you will enjoy the story, videos, and songs with hopes that they will encourage you to dance and sing again.
In the beginning of my spiritual ascension, I had to simultaneously live between two worlds — the physical and the space with little to no training. The process was hard on my body, but I got affirmation that I am protected by all Ascended Masters that once walked this Earth. Due to the fact that I was in the beginning of my ascension, still had a lot of trust issues, and heightened sensitivity I could not seek help from an experienced shaman. I was instructed not to by my Dab Qhuaj too because there were specific lessons for me to learn. I decided to learn how to call myself back to me, xais ceeb (much like tapping and reiki), and discover a part of me that I had never truly reached before, the heart.
During my ascension I took a journey home to find out who I was before I lost myself to the total destruction of who I Am. As I traveled back in time, it became certain that it began with the resentment of being born Hmong. I started there because I believed very deeply as if it was rooted in me that the reason for my sufferings were the results of being Hmong.
My healing began with the closest versions of home that I could find. It was through Hmong music, buried documentaries and books, listening to and watching my beloved Hmong from an eagle eye view, and asking adults questions about their experience and how life is for them here in the United States.
By the gathering of data to find out who I am and where I come from a life unknown, yet familiar, washed over me. A life based on honor, virtue, respect, peace, love, and most importantly VajTswv --God, the Owner of the Garden. In that journey, I found myself healing as a Hmong Woman, Hmong Daughter, Hmong Mother, and an American. My compassion and love grew infinitely for the ones around me and it became a mission of mine to recreate a version of Home that resembles “Home” as close as possible with inspiration from the known and unknown for all beings.
I speak these words with the love, compassion, equanimity, and zog (chi, qi, energy, drive, motivation, life force): Los peb koom tes tu ntej tu chaw peb niam peb txiv yuav los so. Kuv yug ua menyuam ib zaug muaj txhob kev xav tau li no. Kuv vam thiab ciaj siab nej xam tau li kuv thiab. Kuv tsis paub txhua yam tamsis kuv paub li no tseem tseem li peb Txiv peb Niam tau seev yus yees tseg. Es kov txiv los muaj zog, niam los muaj suab, zej zog los muaj hwjchim, laj li tswvyim, txhob kev cov noj cov ua, muaj txuj muaj ci, kov Hmoob lub neej tsuas VajMeej yav tom ntej.